Strip 169 - "So a cold drink's okay, but a hot bath isn't?"

5th May 2015, 12:00 AM in Corvus Village
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hotduelist 5th May 2015, 3:49 AM edit delete reply

So, he's ok with spending good coin on ale but not on hot bath water. lol
Raxon 5th May 2015, 4:11 AM edit delete reply
Okay, Phaedrus, I'll teach you how to behave in a tavern.

1. First, you need to ask the bartender if he's sober enough to pour drinks tonight.

2. Find a late pregnancy barmaid, and ask her how much it'll cost to "drink it straight from the tap."

3. When you've had your fill of handmaid white russian, ask the biggest, scariest guy in the tavern whether he prefers to be whipped or tied, then slap him right in the balls.

4. Find the dudes playing darts, and up the ante by suggesting a smaller target. Suggest that their sons drop their pants, bend over and let you paint rings on their backsides.

Follow these four simple steps, and I guarantee you will be the most popular fighter in the bar.

EDIT: I have seen all of this, and at one point, saw a bard get an extremely pregnant barmaid incredibly, dangerously drunk, simply so he could have a bit of ale with his milk. Good times.
Zilfallion 5th May 2015, 4:20 AM edit delete reply
Just make sure to get drunk enough first that you won't remember any of it.
Kyosuke Nambu 5th May 2015, 10:04 AM edit delete reply

I believe it. Having seen first hand some of the stuff people will do while drunk in real life, that's entirely believable.
Rooker 5th May 2015, 6:00 PM edit delete reply
Raxon, you've now set the bar on "reasons I'm afraid to drink with people around."

Still going to try and do this to my players in a tavern one day...just to see what kind of trouble they get themselves into.
Raxon 5th May 2015, 8:20 PM edit delete reply
Here is another story of mine about the party getting impaired and causing mayhem.

Froggy condoms, deer penis sausage, and assaulting every single dude in the village to disguise them as gods and fool the Slaad into leaving the village alone.
Zaerosz 7th May 2015, 3:35 AM edit delete reply
I think you linked to the wrong strip there, dude.
Otaku 6th May 2015, 12:24 AM edit delete reply
1) Wait until party gets paid (or returns from quest laden with booty).

2) Locate easy marks (probably party members, hence #1). Possibly sow "seeds" (see step 5).

3) Plant suggestion of drinking contest (if you even need to do so). Again, possibly sow "seeds" (see step 5)

4) Buy first round, take a dive. If you have collaborators or sufficient acting skill to fake a "second wind", you can goad the others into reaching epic levels of drunkenness. Possibly sow seeds (you guessed it, see step 5).

5) Bright and early the next morning, visit "winners" of contest and make as many Persuasion/Fast-Talk/Acting/whatever your system calls it rolls. Make sure they know they "won" the contest and that it was epic and then try to make them think that

a) it was their idea but
b) they needed to borrow coin from you and
c) now you desperately need them to pay you back so you can
d) pay off your own creditors

alternatively you could also or instead

e) try to convince them they did something stupid and should make it worth your while to keep your mouth shut or
f) blackmail them if they actually did do something stupid they will want you to keep quiet about.

Though it sounds clunky, it happened quite naturally to me in one game. Party received due wages for mercenary work for the entire past year. The tavern seemed like a natural destination and someone suggested a drinking contest. I recall questioning the wisdom but was either ignored or perhaps teased for not wanting to get drunk and celebrate.

It might be my memory playing tricks on me, but the GM either tolerated, approved or actively encouraged my trick (I have this faint memory that if I hadn't done something to "teach" the party a lesson, he would have). I bought the first round (cheapest stuff they had), pretended to be a lightweight and endured the teasing well enough... morning I got the guy trying to earn his way (both fiscally and in terms of heroic deeds) into being a landed knight convinced that I'd helped him save face by lending him my coin when he didn't have convenient means to pay the night before, plus that being such a generous soul who treated "his boys" right he'd bought the best stuff in the house every round (and again that he'd had me pay for it up front). I also pointed out that my creditors had come calling so I really needed him to pay me back now like he promised last night.

My delivery was so good I got a role-playing bonus (or again, whatever it was called) to my role and since he was still quite hungover he already had a penalty to his attempt to see through things. The net result was a success so good that not only did he "pay me back" (netting me a tidy little profit) but he regarded me as a good, trustworthy friend for helping him out. XD

I only had time for one more mark and he was so hungover (he botched the roll) that he threw the nearest thing to him at the door as I cracked it opened and knocked. The GM rolled to see what was nearest him.

It was his purse that had his entire pay from the previous year. He also failed the roll to remember what happened. Also I've told this story way too many times so sorry if its a rerun (of a rerun of a rerun of...). ;)
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